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by Abigail Van Buren

Teen Mom Is Pushed Around by Her Baby Daddy's Mama

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of four years, "Omar," and I have been having major arguments lately. They're about the relationship he has with his sister. I feel he confides in her more than he does me.

I realize she's his sister, but he consults her about finances, what kind of pet to buy, how things are going at work, etc. He's never open with me about those issues. He shuts me out to the point that I have told him if it doesn't change, we're through. He says I'm "overreacting."

Even more peculiar, she makes phone calls for Omar -- like when his mortgage payment was late or when he had to ask the IRS a tax question. Omar is 34 and should be handling these things himself.

It galls me when he puts her on a pedestal and puts me down when I make a mistake. I'm a single mom, doing well on my own, but he refuses to acknowledge it. What should I do? -- SECOND FIDDLE IN ARIZONA

DEAR SECOND FIDDLE: It is possible that Omar's sister has been running his life for so long that she's the first person he thinks of when he gets into a bind. And obviously she has done a capable job of it, or he wouldn't keep having her intercede for him.

It should be clear to you by now that putting yourself in competition with her is getting you nowhere. So accept the two of them as a package deal or find a man who is independent.