DEAR ABBY: I am a girl who has had my heart broken for the first time. I know I should get over this boy, but I can't stop thinking about him. My mom loved him. We hung out every weekend for six months.
I thought I might have been pregnant. I'm not -- but I want to be. I know I'm not ready to be a mom, but I want someone to love me and depend on me. I need someone who won't leave me. I know my baby wouldn't.
Should I become a mom? How do I get over my boyfriend? Do I stop talking to him and just be his friend? Abby, tell me the right way. -- LOVESICK IN YUCCA VALLEY, CALIF.
DEAR LOVESICK: Becoming a mother is not the way out of your heartache. Any young woman considering having a child must ask herself how she can provide financially and emotionally for that child. Most teenaged girls who become pregnant do not complete their high school education, and it has a negative impact on their ability to provide for themselves and their children.
The right way to work through this breakup is to talk to your mother or another trusted adult about your feelings. Stop trying to maintain contact with your former boyfriend. To continue will only prolong your pain. Dedicate yourself to achieving the most you can for yourself in sports and academics. It will give you less time to brood, and the more you achieve the more sought-after you will become.
It won't happen overnight. It will take time, concentration and dedication. If you take my advice you will come out of this disappointment a much happier person. But having a baby is not the answer.
DEAR ABBY: Eight months ago I began a weight-loss program the same week as my best friend, "Darby." We both have the same amount to lose, but she is using an expensive "liquid fast" combined with a private personal trainer at a gym. She has already spent a few thousand dollars.
I am working completely on my own, and have lost 30 pounds. Darby has lost 32.
She came over to visit and brought with her a huge stack of her old clothes, saying they no longer fit, but implying they would fit me! I do weigh a bit more than she does, but I am 4 inches taller.
I was offended, but too shocked to say anything. I put the clothes in my coat closet to dispose of later. What should I have said to my "friend"? I am really hurt. -- INSULTED IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR INSULTED: How about this? "Thank you. Perhaps I can have them taken in or lengthened -- or save them for a short, fat friend."
DEAR ABBY: When I am the guest in someone's car, I always offer money for gas -- $20 if it's a day-long trip, for example. If I'm short of cash, I'll tell the driver in advance and contribute once I get the money.
I know someone who seldom contributes money for gas when we travel long-distance together. He's not unemployed or financially strapped, either. Is this rude on his part? -- SIGHTSEER IN JERSEY CITY
DEAR SIGHTSEER: It qualifies as insensitive -- and possibly cheap. Before agreeing to another jaunt with this person, be sure you have an agreement in advance about how much he will be ponying up for petrol.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)