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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old boy who is trying to figure out my career. I'm with "Jen," the girl of my dreams, and I intend on being with her forever. We plan to have kids in the future.

I want to be a pilot, and Jen wants to be a stay-at-home mom. I realize, though, that if I'm a pilot I won't be home much, and I know that's not good for a couple trying to start a family. All I ever dreamed about was becoming a pilot, and I don't think I can give this up.

At the same time, my family comes first. How do I go about solving this problem? -- PLANNING AHEAD IN MISSOURI

DEAR PLANNING AHEAD: You appear to be a young man with his feet on the ground. What you're not taking into consideration is that there are many happily married pilots who enjoy flourishing family lives as well as careers. Do some more research about the various kinds of jobs that are offered in the aviation industry, and you may be pleased to find that you, too, can have both. And keep in mind that your ambitions may change as you get older.

DEAR ABBY: My 73-year-old mother took it upon herself to go to a senior center and learn how the computer works -- Internet, e-mails, etc.

She has five children, and we're all on the Internet. She didn't tell us because she wanted it to be a surprise -- and was it ever! I flipped when I turned on my computer and found her name on an incoming message!

Abby, Mom doesn't own a computer, and the nearest senior center that has one is 30 miles away, but that didn't stop her.

We're currently setting up a computer for her, and I'm proud to say that she'll be able to use it for more than playing one of her favorite card games, Hearts. We're all proud of Mom! -- COLLEEN IN ST. PAUL, MINN.

DEAR COLLEEN: I salute your mother and the burgeoning number of seniors who refuse to be intimidated by technology. Computers and cell phones have become cheaper and easier to use, and Web-surfing isn't a "sport" that's meant to be enjoyed only by the young. The computer-phobic can learn a lot from your mother's example.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married five years and have a beautiful 4-year-old daughter. Two years ago, my wife cheated on three different occasions with three different men. Each time she admitted her infidelity to me the following day.

I was heartbroken. I have fallen out of love with her and no longer find her attractive. I didn't leave immediately because I didn't want our daughter to be raised in a broken home. Also, my wife didn't have a job. I thought I could forgive her and get over it, but I can't and don't think I ever will.

Should I leave her or stay in a marriage where I feel I am being unfair to myself and that I deserve better? Please advise. -- BETRAYED IN KANSAS

DEAR BETRAYED: I'm sorry your wife cheated on you -- three times, yet. But if you have to ask me for permission to leave her, the answer is no. You'll know the time is right when you are ready to take the responsibility for that decision all by yourself.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)