DEAR ABBY: I am a 76-year-old father of three sons and grandfather of five. The other night, I was dining out with my brother, one of my sons, his 31-year-old wife, and their two children, ages 5 and 2.
The server was standing next to me and the 5-year-old, poised to take our orders. My daughter-in-law was distracted by the 2-year-old, so I placed my order so the server would not be kept standing there.
My son chastised me for not waiting until his wife placed her order first. Embarrassed, I offered an apology. Was I wrong not to wait for my daughter-in-law to place her order? What would have been the proper thing to do? -- EMBARRASSED IN GARFIELD, N.J.
DEAR EMBARRASSED: Frankly, the "proper thing to do" in this case would have been for your son to save his criticism until he could talk to you privately, rather than embarrassing you in a public place. Ordinarily, the rule of thumb "ladies first" would apply when giving the dinner order. However, because your daughter-in-law was distracted, speaking up and telling the server what you wanted makes sense to me.