DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Gina," recently became engaged to her longtime boyfriend. A few days after hearing about the engagement, I sent her an e-mail telling her my husband and I were free every weekend except Oct. 8, 9 and 10 because a dear friend had asked me months ago to be a bridesmaid in her wedding that weekend. I have already bought the dress and had it altered. I called Gina to explain the situation after sending the e-mail.
Yesterday, I spoke with my father and found out that Gina has chosen Oct. 9 for her wedding day, even though I told her I couldn't make it then. Gina wants me to be her matron of honor because she was my maid of honor.
Clearly, I cannot participate in two weddings on the same day at the same time in different locations. Who do I say no to? -- DREADING WEDDINGS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
DEAR DREADING: Let me get this straight. You warned your sister that you would be unavailable on a certain weekend, she chose that date for her wedding anyway, and you had to hear the news from your father? Could there be more going on with your relationship with your sister than you mentioned in your letter? Perhaps she felt "obligated" to have you in her wedding party because she was in yours?
From my perspective, you should thank your sister for her kind offer and remind her that you had already told her you would be unavailable that weekend. That way, you're both off the hook.