DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Russ," and I have been married 13 years. During that time he has lost more than 15 jobs for various reasons -- tardiness, not performing up to par, etc. I finally was able to convince him to get tested when I noticed he was having difficulty paying attention. He was diagnosed with ADHD, and they said he has an IQ of about 80.
I am working on my doctorate. I hold a job with other wives whose husbands have "great jobs," and I sometimes don't know what to say about Russ. He's a good person, very loving and tries his best, but honestly, I do get frustrated and have a little bit of "husband envy."
Russ is 50 and we have no children. How do I come to grips with the fact that he may never be a provider? -- CHALLENGED IN NEW YORK
DEAR CHALLENGED: Your marriage has lasted 13 years, so Russ must be doing something right. Not all men are great financial providers, but most manage to make up for it in other ways.
I'll bet the other wives never say a word about their husbands' shortcomings during those chat fests. One way to come to grips with the fact that Russ may "never be a provider" would be to refrain from making comparisons when your co-workers start bragging about their spouses.