DEAR ABBY: My mother got drunk at a family function and started a fight with me. I ended up leaving before it could escalate, but I feel I ruined the host's day. Would it be appropriate to send an "I'm sorry" note, and how would I word it? -- MAKING AMENDS IN TENNESSEE
DEAR MAKING AMENDS: The person making the amends should be the person who created the scene -- your mother. If you feel something needs to be said by you, and apparently you do, then write your host and say, "I feel terrible about what happened at your party and would like to apologize for my mother's behavior. I left before she could create a scene, but I'm afraid it cast a shadow on your day, and for that I would like to apologize." Sign it with love.
P.S. You'll lead a happier life if you stop feeling that you have to apologize for your mother's behavior. You are responsible only for your own.