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by Abigail Van Buren

Brother's Secret Daughter Deserves to Be Revealed

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Luke" for about three months. He's a sweet and thoughtful guy who cares about me, and I care for him as well.

My problem is I have never been the kind of person who likes to be touched. It makes me feel tense and uneasy. Luke likes to touch me constantly -- stroking my cheek, rubbing the back of my neck, or kissing my cheeks and forehead.

It isn't that I don't like hugs or kisses, but too much drives me crazy. How do I explain this to Luke without hurting his feelings? -- ENOUGH IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR ENOUGH: A good start would be to say to him exactly what you have communicated to me. And when you do, tell him to please not take your feelings as personal rejection. Different people have different needs for closeness and affection. Because the constant touching makes you uncomfortable, you and Luke must reach a compromise that's acceptable to both of you -- or you're not the girl for him.