DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wife, "Leigh," for seven years. We have two sons, ages 4 and 2. I love Leigh and our sons very much.
Over the years I became increasingly dependent on drinking (beer). I have never been abusive, but Leigh expressed concern about it. I didn't think the problem was anything we couldn't deal with.
A little over a year ago, Leigh's mother died of cancer. It has been an extremely emotional time for her, and she has now decided she can no longer tolerate my behavior. She's not even sure she's in love with me anymore.
Hearing her say it made me realize how big a deal my drinking is, and I am committed to changing. But after a month of trying, Leigh still says she would be better off alone. She is starting counseling soon. I told her I'd go with her.
This is a painful period for us, and I can't imagine my life without her and the kids. Is it too late? -- SCARED SOBER IN AUSTIN
DEAR SCARED: That remains to be seen. One month of sobriety isn't enough to make up for years of being emotionally absent because you had a "buzz" going. Counseling may help you both, but you need more than that. If you are sincere about kicking the habit, you will join an alcohol rehab program. A listing for Alcoholics Anonymous is as near as your telephone directory -- and so is Al-Anon, which could help your wife, who may still be grieving the loss of her mother.