DEAR ABBY: I recently took my daughter to an "open house" at our local college. My daughter refuses to ask questions, so I started asking about credit hours, finances, scholarships, etc.
A few people were not happy that I was there. I was told that I was what they referred to as a "hovering" parent and I needed to let her attend the open house on her own. I told them -- very politely -- that because I was paying for her education, I wanted to know what I was getting for my money. I told them if I was going to buy her a car, I feel I'd have the right to test drive it first to make sure it was worth the money.
Should I have left her there on her own and hoped everything turned out OK? I know kids need to grow up and make their own mistakes, but if they do it with my money, they won't learn because it would cost them nothing. Do you think I was out of line? -- QUESTIONING DAD IN ARIZONA
DEAR DAD: I don't think so. It's not unusual for parents to take their sons and daughters to look at prospective colleges -- and the questions adults would ask might not be the same ones their teen might think of. However, if the individuals who suggested that you were "hovering" were employees of the college, it's possible you did go overboard, and it's time to begin encouraging your daughter to be less of a shrinking violet. Being so shy that she's unable to ask questions is a handicap in a competitive academic setting.