DEAR ABBY: How do you deal with a thief in your midst? I have a 21-year-old relative who steals. He has stolen from me, and I suspect from other members of the family as well. Please don't suggest therapy -- he's had years of therapy. Recently, he was caught stealing from a purse belonging to his mother's best friend.
The problem is family gatherings. I'm not comfortable telling my guests that they must watch their valuables, but I cannot deal with the possibility of having a guest's possessions or money stolen. Also, I don't particularly relish the idea of having him loose in my house.
He hasn't shown any particular interest in attending these functions and often hasn't attended when invited, but it's hard to know whether excluding him might make him feel left out. My inclination is to tell him the reason I don't want to invite him. Should I? -- HIS RELATIVE
DEAR RELATIVE: If he asks why he wasn't invited, by all means tell him. If years of counseling haven't curbed his compulsion to steal, it's possible that one day he will learn in a jail cell what he didn't learn on the couch.
Meanwhile, I see no compelling reason to continue inviting him to family gatherings. Not only will you be doing your guests a favor, you'll be exposing your relative to less temptation.