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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws (whom I love dearly) moved to another state after retirement, and when they come to visit they always stay with us. They own a house next door that is occupied by their daughter, and they also have another child living nearby.

How can I politely suggest that they stay in their own house with their daughter or with the other child? Both have the space to accommodate them. I work very early morning hours and don't want to disturb them, but they pretty much take over our house when they are here. I don't know if the other children offer them a place to stay or not, but I'm tired of having them here every time they visit. -- STUCK IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR STUCK: Discuss this with your husband and his siblings. It's possible that the other children haven't extended an invitation to the parents to stay with them.

And if you view it from another perspective, it's unfair to the others that the parents slight them by staying with you when they're in town.

DEAR ABBY: I am not gay or bisexual, but I'm in love with my boss, who is a female like me. She's 27 and I am 17. She is married and doesn't know how I feel about her.

I looked up her address on the Internet and got directions to her house. I drive by every day -- don't ask me why. I told her I have a friend who lives on the same street that she does, and that I saw her car in the driveway.

About a month ago, she caught me driving by as she was pulling out of her driveway. Two days ago, she called my mother -- they have been friends for years -- and asked, "What's wrong with 'Janie'? She pulled my address up from a computer. I saw her driving past my house."

That's all my mom told me, but how in the heck did she find out? I still have the printout in my bedroom, and it's still in the same position it was, so I don't think my mom saw it and told her about it. Only three of my closest friends know, and I don't think they repeated anything because they have no reason to -- and they don't know my boss. What's going on here? Am I going crazy? -- FOUND OUT IN FLORIDA

DEAR FOUND OUT: What's "going on" is you have become obsessed with your boss, and your trips past her house could be construed as stalking. You are not "going crazy," but you definitely need counseling. Please tell your mother I said so.

DEAR ABBY: "College Co-Ed in Williamsburg, Va." (Feb. 10) was concerned about her mother opening and reading her bills and statements. There's another option you didn't address.

If it is too much bother to rent a post office box near her college and have the mail forwarded to her parents' home during semester breaks, a simpler and easier option is "paperless" bank statements. Most banks and companies let you choose to receive your statements electronically.

"Co-Ed" can go online to the various entities from whom she receives regular bills and select the "paperless billing" or "paperless statement" option under her account settings. When new bills/statements are available, she'll get an e-mail from each company informing her she can log in to her account to review her statements and bills.

This way, her mother can't see her bills and bank statements, and she'll have the satisfaction of knowing she is doing her bit for the environment. -- SAVVY ONLINE CONSUMER IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR SAVVY: You know what? You're absolutely right. And so are the hundreds of other readers who wrote to say the same thing. Thank you.

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