DEAR ABBY: Please help me make my life better and answer a question that has been troubling me for some time. How do men on death row get their toenails cut? Are they actually given sharp objects to do it for themselves? I can't figure it out. -- PERPLEXED IN SOUTHWEST FLORIDA
DEAR PERPLEXED: Your question is one I have pondered for some time, as well. Because men on death row are not supposed to have sharp objects, they take turns chewing each other's toenails off. I have this on good authority -- and I'm not conning you.