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by Abigail Van Buren

Bride to Be Wonders Which Ring to Wear in Her Portrait

DEAR ABBY: Recently, a question was raised about whether my mother might have been pregnant at the time of her wedding more than 30 years ago. I wasn't premature, and no, I never "did the math."

Not once in my life was there ever a hint of such a thing, and no one ever alluded to it over the years. I am shocked. Mother has been so proper all my life, and she raised my sister and me to be ladies under strict supervision. Why would she not tell us, even after we became adults -- wives and parents struggling with the same situations?

Should I let it go and respect Mother's obvious wish to keep it her own? Can I ask her without damaging our good relationship? Could there be another explanation? A big part of me wants to know the truth. -- CURIOUS IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR CURIOUS: I see nothing to be gained by bringing up something that you know could cause your mother pain or embarrassment. Because she "obviously" (your word) wishes to keep the matter private, my inclination would be to let it go.