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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife Thinks Stay at Home Dad Needs to Get Up and Go

DEAR ABBY: When we were younger, my sister "Kara" and I were sexually abused by our pastor. Kara is now in counseling because of this, and she's insisting I do the same.

I told her I have no need for or desire to get therapy, and now she's angry with me. What my sister doesn't know is that I submitted to our pastor willingly. When I became pregnant by him at 16, I lied to my family and told them the child was a result of a one-night stand.

I am no longer involved with this man, although we parted on good terms and he continues to support our child. Should I tell my sister the truth so she'll understand why I am reluctant to seek counseling? -- CONFLICTED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR CONFLICTED: You should not only tell your sister the truth, you should also join her in some of those counseling sessions. While you had sex with your pastor "willingly," you were underage. What the man did was predatory and statutory rape. If he would do this to you and your sister, what makes you think he isn't doing it to other young girls right now?

By staying silent, you may be enabling him to continue. If you are doing it for the money, there are other ways of getting support for your child. Please rethink this.