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by Abigail Van Buren

Story of Long Ago Abuse Causes Family New Pain

DEAR ABBY: I am 25, and have been in a relationship with a wonderful man I'll call "Tom" for a year. Tom is attentive, caring, funny, self-sufficient and comes from a great family. In short, he's everything a woman says she wants.

So why do I still constantly look at other men? I always worry that there's someone better-suited to me and that I'm just settling. Tom is definitely the best man I've ever met, and he would make a wonderful husband and father one day. So, how do I learn to appreciate what I have instead of always seeking something better, which very well may not exist? -- WANDERING EYE IN BUFFALO, N.Y.

DEAR WANDERING EYE: Tom may be everything a woman says she wants, but your intuition may be telling you that he isn't what YOU want. Ask yourself what quality Tom is lacking that causes you to constantly look at other men with an eye to trading up, because until you figure that out, you will never be satisfied.