DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Brian," has a terminal illness and only a few months more to live. We have been married four years. I fell out of love with him shortly after our wedding, and now he's sick. I'm his only caregiver.
Abby, sometimes I don't want to do it anymore. He has treated me badly and sometimes I hate him, but I want our 2-year-old daughter to know her father and have good memories. She can tell I'm not myself.
I know Brian has only a little time left, but I also know we would be happier and saner with him gone. I try to keep her away from him as much as I can because he goes off on her, too. I know my husband is angry because he's dying, but he has always been angry and had a bad temper. I try to be positive for our child, but it's difficult when you're being put down or ordered around all the time. What can I do? Just hang in there until it's over? I'm confused, lost, depressed, and I cry all the time. Please help. -- WANTS OUT IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR WANTS OUT: Please accept my sympathy. What you're experiencing is the most difficult of life's transitions -- painful, exhausting, sometimes thankless. But for your sake, please don't give up now. Once this is over you will emerge stronger, more confident -- and knowing you did your best and fulfilled your wedding vows to the very end.
Although you feel alone right now, you are experiencing what many other caregivers do when dealing with a loved one who is dying. Because you feel isolated, you might benefit from contacting the Family Caregiver Alliance. Its toll-free telephone number is 800-445-8106; the Web site is www.caregiver.org.