PAINFUL TRUTH OF MARRIAGE
DEAR ABBY: The other day I asked my husband a question and told him to be honest. If given a choice between giving up wine or giving up sex with me, which would he choose?
You guessed it. He said, "Giving up sex with you." I think I knew the answer before I asked the question, but hearing it out loud devastated me.
I know every woman wants to be No. 1 in her husband's life. Am I wrong to feel so heartbroken? -- LOST THE BATTLE TO CHARDONNAY
DEAR LOST THE BATTLE: Not at all, particularly if you prefer sex to a full-bodied Cabernet. But now it's time for a follow-up question: "Why?" If sex with you is less interesting to your mate than his vino, he may have an alcohol problem. Or the problem may lie in your bedroom.
One thing is certain: When you asked your question, you "uncorked" the fact that there's a serious problem in your marriage. And now you have an opportunity to do something about it.
DEAR ABBY: My wife is constantly passing gas. She does not care where she is or who is around. I have worked in the trucking industry for almost 30 years and never ran across anyone as flatulent as she is.
She is young and attractive, but there is nothing less appealing than feeling "frisky," getting into bed and hearing the trumpet sounds. I have recommended she see a doctor, but she laughs it off and says, "Everyone does it."
I can't believe I'm the only one with this problem. I could really use some "sound" advice, Abby. -- BLOWN AWAY IN ALLIANCE, OHIO
DEAR BLOWN AWAY: Everyone may do "it," but perhaps not to the extent that your wife does. There are over-the-counter products that can lessen the problem, which may be related to her diet. However, if her flatulence persists, then I'm recommending you not let your wife "laugh off" the idea of consulting a physician, because her problem could be a symptom of something that needs to be checked out -- and that's no joke.
DEAR ABBY: Our driveway is directly across from our neighbor's dining room window. The only curtain open in their entire house is this one. Since they always sit at this window, they can observe who pulls in and out, what groceries are brought in and how many times we leave.
They make comments like, "I see you had pizza last night," or, "What did you buy at 'Such and Such' store?" This has caused a strain on our relationship with them.
I know they have a right to open whatever curtains they want in their own house, but what about the invasion of our privacy? -- PEEVED BY THE PEEPERS, JOHNSTOWN, PA.
DEAR PEEVED: Apparently what's going on in your driveway is better than what's on television. Because you can't change your neighbors, you're going to have to find the humor in this situation and change the way you react. They may be trying to make conversation because there's nothing else going on in their lives. And their curiosity might turn out to be a blessing one day if someone tries to enter your home in your absence.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)