DEAR ABBY: My wife and I threw a party for which we hired a bartender, so we could spend more time with our guests.
We figured that, in addition to his hourly rate, we would tip him at the end of the night. Without consulting us, the man placed a plastic cup out for our guests to tip him. My wife was appalled and demanded that he remove it. He actually argued with her, but finally put the tip cup away.
My wife and I asked friends to weigh in on the subject. The men had no problem with the practice, while every woman found it offensive. Were we too harsh? Should a bartender at a private, in-home party be allowed to solicit tips from the guests? -- BAR NONE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BAR NONE: Absolutely not! When you hired this person, all the details should have been agreed to in advance -- and if the compensation your bartender was being offered wasn't satisfactory, he should have refused the job.