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by Abigail Van Buren

Son's Gal Pal Is Eating Up All of His Mother's Goodwill

DEAR ABBY: My 27-year-old daughter and two grandsons (ages 5 and 6) moved in with me more than a year ago. "Lori" is a good mom, but it upsets me when I wake up at night and discover that she's not home. She will leave a note saying she's with this person or that and will be home by midnight or 1 a.m.

It infuriates me when she leaves the boys alone with me without informing me in advance. We argue constantly about this, but she continues to do it. I am ready to call the police or to file a report with DSS. Lori says I am home anyway, so what's the harm? Please help me with this. -- HOME ALONE WITH THE KIDS WHILE MOM'S OUT PARTYING

DEAR HOME ALONE WITH THE KIDS: Your daughter's behavior is extremely disrespectful to the mother who took her in. Nothing will change until you draw the line and tell her that the home she and her boys are living in is yours -- not hers -- and you expect her to live by your rules, the first of which is giving you the courtesy of asking whether you might like the evening out before she plans one for herself. You are both adults, and you deserve to be consulted. If she won't comply, she should make other living arrangements.