DEAR ABBY: My mom has three sisters, two of whom I am very close to and love dearly. The problem is the third sister, "Aunt Sandy." She had a falling out with Mom a few years ago and is now considered the black sheep of the family.
At my grandmother's funeral, I had the chance to sit and talk with her, and I didn't feel I was doing anything wrong. However, my mom told me later she was "hurt" because I had talked to Aunt Sandy knowing the family is upset with her. Mom said she'd appreciate it if I didn't do it again. I tried to explain that the way she feels about her sister shouldn't have anything to do with our relationship, but Mom refuses to understand. I want a connection with my Aunt Sandy without hurting my mom. Please help. -- WE'RE STILL RELATED
DEAR STILL RELATED: I wish you had told me in more detail why your mother is angry with Sandy, and why the rest of the family is cooperating in isolating her. However, you are an adult. Whom you choose to befriend is your business, not your mother's. If you wish to pursue a relationship with Aunt Sandy, you are free to do so. And if you don't want your mother to be "hurt," don't discuss it with her.