DEAR ABBY: Three people have helped me make lemonade out of life's lemons -- a patient and talented therapist, a beloved pastor and you. After 50 years, here are my top 10 Dear Abby lessons:
1. No one can "make" you unhappy. You have choices.
2. The healthiest way to cure depression? Volunteer your hands and your heart.
3. The best advice for raising children? Remember that you raise them to let them go.
4. The best person with whom to discuss marital difficulties? Your spouse. Complaining to others may make you feel better for a day, but it will be at the expense of your marriage.
5. Don't "protect" those you love from the pain that will heal them.
6. Never criticize without working toward a solution, particularly when it comes to politics.
7. Never forget abuse nor tolerate it again, but do forgive the abuser.
8. What (and whom) you love is not shown through words but by where you devote your time, your energy and money.
9. You are what you eat, read and watch on TV.
10. Life is linear. Make every moment matter. -- A SURVIVOR IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR SURVIVOR: I'm flattered that you have learned so many life lessons from reading the Dear Abby column. However, one of the items you listed in your letter did not come from me or my mother before me. It's No. 7. I have never written that a victim of abuse should feel obligated to forgive the abuser.