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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: My dad was on the kidney transplant list for almost four years. Last week, he received a call that there was a kidney for him. As I sat in the waiting room during his transplant surgery, I became aware that two other families were in the same situation. One's relative was also getting a kidney transplant, the other a liver. As we talked, it became apparent that every transplant surgery that evening was from the same donor.

I can't help but think of the family who lost this young man, who helped to save the lives of three people while grieving their loss. I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to that family and to all the families who have donated the organs of their loved ones.

Because of one person, my father and two other dads got a new lease on life. My plea is for people to mark the back of their driver's license to indicate their willingness to become an organ donor. Also let your families know that you want your organs donated if, God forbid, anything were to ever happen. It will make the decision for them much easier.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to speak out and perhaps save someone's life the way someone saved my dad, whom I love very much. -- GRATEFUL DAUGHTER IN OWENSBORO, KY.

DEAR DAUGHTER: Your letter touched my heart. I hope it will remind everyone what a precious gift each of us can give if we wish.

Readers, I encourage all of you to discuss the subject of organ donation with your families. Let them know you would like to give the "gift of life" and ensure that a part of you lives on. Your generosity can make the difference between life and death for someone.

For more information about organ donation, contact the National Kidney Foundation at Box DA, 30 E. 33rd St., New York, NY 10016, call toll-free (800) 622-9010 or log onto � HYPERLINK "http://www.kidney.org" ��www.kidney.org�.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend has asked me to be her maid of honor. Of course I agreed, but my husband doesn't want me to for a couple of reasons. First, he says I shouldn't be a maid of honor because I am married. Second, he's uncomfortable about my walking down the aisle with another man (the best man) and being photographed with him.

I want to be there for my friend, but I don't want to create tension between my husband and me. He has made it clear that if I choose to be in this wedding he won't attend as a guest.

The wedding is scheduled for a year from now, and I don't want to be stressing about this until next September. What should I do? -- TORN BETWEEN MY FRIEND AND MY HUSBAND

DEAR TORN: It appears you have married a man who is insecure and controlling. If he had said he'd be uncomfortable if you were seated with the bridal party at the reception while he sat in "Siberia," I would understand. However, his idea that a married woman cannot be a maid of honor is incorrect, and his objection that there's something wrong with your walking down the aisle or being photographed with the best man is ridiculous. So tell your husband (sweetly) that he'll be missed at the wedding, and if he's more comfortable not attending it's OK with you.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)