DEAR ABBY: I am a 50-year-old woman who is trying to figure out my relationship with my sister. "Jasmine" is five years older and has always been outspoken, bossy and insensitive. My role has always been to be the quiet, meek one.
As children, Jasmine was jealous of me. She dominated me and was sometimes physically abusive. As an adult, I have struggled to assert myself. Every time I think I'm making headway, Jasmine will do or say something to take me down a few notches, leaving me devastated yet again.
I am tired. I have reached the point of giving up on having any kind of meaningful relationship with my sister. I don't know what else to do. We do not live close to each other and communicate mostly via e-mail. I have not confronted her personally because when we're together it's usually a family function, and I don't want to drag the whole family into it or upset our mother. Any suggestions? -- JASMINE'S WHIPPING GIRL
DEAR WHIPPING GIRL: Thank your lucky stars that you are exposed to your sister only infrequently. Until you can bring yourself to respond firmly when your sister steps over the line, it appears you'll have to continue tolerating the pain.
My advice would be to speak your mind to Jasmine once and for all and let the chips fall where they may if she puts you down at a family gathering. It would hardly be considered "attacking her" if you said plainly that her comments are hurtful and offensive. It's the truth. And if she's doing this via the Internet, warn her once, and if she persists, then block her e-mails.