DEAR ABBY: Two family members passed away, and because we live several states from our family, we were not informed of their deaths until many weeks after the funerals. Whose responsibility is it to notify us of a death in the family? -- LEFT IN THE DARK
DEAR LEFT IN THE DARK: There is no designated person who makes the call. Often it is a family member conveying the sad news, or a close family friend if the family is too devastated or too busy making funeral arrangements to reach out. That you were not notified until weeks after the funeral -- not once but twice -- implies that there may have been some sort of estrangement. And if that's the case, you have my sympathy.