DEAR ABBY: My 18-year-old son, "Brandon," dated several girls in high school -- none seriously. But now that he's thinking about colleges, he has fallen head-over-heels for someone named "Michelle." I'm OK with that; my problem is Michelle's mother. It's like she's trying to get them married as soon as possible.
This woman manipulates situations so that her daughter and Brandon spend the majority of their time at her house. Every time we make plans to have Michelle over for dinner or a movie, there's either a reason she can't come, or her mother calls asking her to return home.
Michelle's mom constantly calls and texts my son. On Facebook she carries on about how much she misses him. Whenever Brandon makes a comment about his wonderful girlfriend, her mother chimes in with, "What about her wonderful mother?"
Brandon is being set up and manipulated, but becomes defensive if I try to point it out. We live in a small town, and I have had several unsolicited warnings of "watch out for the mother" whenever people find out who Brandon is dating. Would it be wrong to approach this woman? -- LEVEL-HEADED IN MONROE, N.C.
DEAR LEVEL-HEADED: It appears that Michelle's mother is living vicariously through her daughter and is trying to "help" her land your son. Although the woman's behavior is over-the-top, I doubt that confronting her would discourage her.
Before this goes any further, Brandon needs to understand that Michelle's mother is a textbook example of a problem mother-in-law. If your son has a father, uncle or grandfather in the picture, he may be more receptive to a man-to-man talk about what's going on than he is to a warning from his mother.