DEAR ABBY: The day before my wedding, my fiance's aunt left me a gift. After the wedding I opened it and read the card that was enclosed. It was lingerie, which seemed like a well-intentioned gift.
The card, however, was a bit puzzling. Turns out the lingerie was her own, and slightly used. On the card she said it had been "only used a few times." It struck me as inappropriate to receive "used" (and wrong-sized) lingerie from a new aunt-in-law. However, I do believe she was well-intentioned.
Abby, her gift made me uncomfortable. Am I wrong in thinking it was inappropriate? Any thoughts on how to write a thank-you card for such a gift? -- FLUMMOXED IN THE USA
DEAR FLUMMOXED: This new relative may be a "character," or she may not have had the means to buy you a wedding gift and gave you the nicest thing she could come up with.
My advice is to be gracious. Do not tell her the lingerie is the wrong size or criticize it in any way. Simply say: "Thank you for welcoming me into the family. Your kindness and thoughtfulness are appreciated, and I look forward to getting to know you in the years to come."