DEAR ABBY: "Robert" and I have been married for 10 years. A few months ago I discovered that he'd had an affair. He says it was because he felt I didn't love him anymore and we weren't communicating. I have never stopped loving him.
The funny thing is, I felt the same way he did -- upset that he was spending more time away from home. We're now trying to work things out, but it's hard for me. I keep learning more information about their relationship, and it breaks my heart all over again. I know who she is and what she looks like.
I'll be seeing this woman at a bridal shower soon, and later on this fall at a wedding. Robert says she doesn't know what I look like. I am tempted to pretend to be someone else and quiz her about their relationship.
I'm just so lost. I want to let all of this go and move on, but I haven't been able to. How do I handle the upcoming events with her? I love Robert, and he's trying to make things right. -- BROKEN AND LOST IN ILLINOIS
DEAR BROKEN AND LOST: Are you masochistic? You know about the affair; you and Robert are trying to work things out. So quit digging because whatever you unearth will only prolong your pain and insecurity. Your time would be better spent on improving the level of communication you have with your husband. And if you're afraid you'll fall apart or do something inappropriate at the sight of his former love, then my advice is to skip the festivities.