Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Woman's Shocking Discovery Puts Man in Unmarked Grave

DEAR ABBY: My father died two years ago and asked that I administer my mother's finances. She has now burned through two-thirds of the savings he left her, and she refuses to accept any advice I have tried to give her about her spending.

I have told my mother repeatedly that I do not have the resources to take care of her when she runs out of money. I know she assumes that I will because she is my mother.

How do I deal with a parent who is narcissistic and out of touch with reality? I have told her I'll gladly hand over her finances to my brother, but she doesn't want him to get involved. I have asked him for advice, but he won't respond.

Do I just let her go through everything and struggle in the end, or stick to my guns? After all, it's her money and I can't refuse to make it available to her. Please advise. -- MOTHER'S KEEPER IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR MOTHER'S KEEPER: I suspect your brother is acting the way he is because he's miffed at not being asked to handle the finances to begin with, or he simply wants to stay out of it. But you cannot allow your mother to continue spending her inheritance at the rate she is. Consult the attorney who drafted your father's will and ask if there's a way to not only put the brakes on her, but also take some of the responsibility off your shoulders.