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by Abigail Van Buren

Daughter Is Reluctant to Be Divorcing Mom's Confidante

DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced woman with one child, and I'm in a relationship with a younger man. He has his own home, and I have mine. He stays at my house three nights a week and every other weekend, when my child is not with me. He eats and grooms himself in my home and swims in the community pool.

He never offers to pay for anything, like food, movie tickets, etc. If we go out, he expects me to pay my own way.

In today's world is there any responsibility on a man in a relationship to pay for anything other than himself? Are the days of men taking women out and paying for the date gone? Shouldn't he offer to bring groceries during the times he spends at my home? What should a lady expect from a man in a dating relationship? -- GAL IN VIRGINIA

DEAR GAL: More than you're getting. When someone is in a romantic relationship, there is usually some "courting" behavior involved. (Even birds of prey will bring their prospective mate a dead rat occasionally.) When two people care about each other, there is usually some give and take. But in your case you appear to be doing all the giving.