DEAR ABBY: A single male friend and I have had a running debate about the phrase "I love you, but I am not IN love with you." It came up again with his telling another friend he believes there is a big difference between the two.
I have been married for 20 years, and I told him that all love starts out "in" love and gradually becomes a more meaningful and everlasting love. Can you settle this? -- TIRED OF HEARING IT IN TEXAS
DEAR TIRED: You can love more than one person at a time, but to be IN love with someone implies that you are focused only on that person and want the relationship to be exclusive. Although sometimes that feeling passes, other times it deepens into the emotion that you described. In other words, when it comes to love there are no absolutes.