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by Abigail Van Buren

Grieving Daughter Rebuffs Friends' Comforting Words

DEAR ABBY: My father was murdered. I am dealing with it the best I can. I appreciate that people want to extend their condolences, but I have started letting my phone go directly to voice mail because I just can't handle hearing, "You're in my prayers," or, "This is all part of some plan." I want to be left alone!

I am angry, Abby, and I don't want to take it out on people who care about me. One of my in-laws has been telling me I need to "suck it up" and allow others the privilege of trying to make me feel better. I think I have the right to grieve in the manner I choose. Who is correct? -- GRIEF-STRICKEN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR GRIEF-STRICKEN: YOU are! Your in-law's comment was incredibly insensitive. Under the circumstances, your feelings are normal, part of the grieving process, and nobody has the right to tell you how to work through it.