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by Abigail Van Buren

Sister's Generosity Is Tainted by Way She Earns Her Living

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago my younger sister, "Cilla," generously set up college funds for my three children. Each of the accounts has more than $25,000. My husband and I were stunned, but Cilla insisted she is making good money in the film industry and wanted to do this for my family.

Three months ago, she came to visit, and through a bizarre turn of events, I discovered that she makes her living starring in adult films. Now that I know how Cilla earns her living, I am no longer comfortable accepting her gifts -- especially the college funds for the children.

This has caused problems between my husband and me. He thinks we should keep the money because we may not be able to afford three college tuitions on our own. Abby, I don't want my sister's sexual exploits paying for our kids' education.

Should we return the money? And if we do, is it possible to do it without causing a rift between my sister and me? -- G-RATED SISTER IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR SISTER: I doubt it. If you refuse her generosity, it will appear that you are rejecting her. Nor do I think your children should be penalized because you don't approve of Cilla's lifestyle. Your husband is being pragmatic; you are being emotional. That money has already been earned. You're not going to change your sister. You may not approve, but love her for the generous and caring aunt she is trying to be and let the money be used for something positive.