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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Is Curious to Know Details of Beau's Divorce

DEAR ABBY: I have recently started seeing a wonderful man who is divorced. It doesn't bother me. I know we all make mistakes. My friends are telling me I need to find out why his marriage ended, because it might signal potential problems to watch out for. I understand their logic.

The problem is, I don't want to appear nosy and, of course, I would be hearing only one side of the story. So should I ask him or not -- and if so, when and how? -- INQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW

DEAR INQUIRING: I see no harm in asking now. The perfect time to have done it was when he told you he was divorced. You don't have to be heavy-handed about it. Treat him to -- or cook him -- a nice dinner and afterward say, "So tell me how come a gorgeous, intelligent man like you is divorced. Your ex must have been out of her mind to let you go." Then shut up and listen.