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by Abigail Van Buren

High School Sweethearts Set Their Sights on Different Goals

DEAR ABBY: I am 21 and have been with my high school sweetheart, "Andy," for six years. I can see myself with him for the rest of my life, but there's a problem. I am very career-oriented and have big dreams for going far, but Andy is the complete opposite. He didn't finish school and is content with a low-paying job for his "career."

I was always raised to reach for the stars, but Andy's parents are not educated, so he sees no reason to go back to school. I have spoken to him several times about my goals. He is supportive, but has no plans on doing anything for himself.

Abby, what should I do? Should I stay with Andy and lower my dreams or give up on him? Did I mention that he has no one to depend on but me? How do I let him go? Besides this issue, our relationship is perfect. Please help. -- GOAL-ORIENTED GAL IN DALLAS

DEAR GOAL-ORIENTED: Many women are the primary wage-earners in their families. And I know of happy marriages between couples with differing levels of education.

You are responsible for your future, and Andy is responsible for his. It's time to be honest with yourself about your feelings. To marry someone because "he has no one to depend on but you" is a poor reason. My intuition tells me you want out. Do you? If the answer is yes, the time to tell Andy is now.