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by Abigail Van Buren

Teenage Mother Wants More Involvement From Baby's Dad

DEAR ABBY: Now that I have retired after working long and hard to provide for three kids, life was supposed to be relaxing and enjoyable. The problem is, my relationship with my wife has become strained.

We don't seem to agree on anything. I find her annoying to be around, and she feels the same about me. This leads to arguments, and after 35 years of marriage, I confess that for the first time I don't feel the love for her that I used to. I believe she feels the same way. (At least we agree on something.)

Is this common? Is it repairable? If not, then walking the straight and narrow to reach the golden years was a fool's error. -- OUT TO PASTURE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR OUT TO PASTURE: What you are describing is not at all uncommon. The good news is, it is fixable, but it will take effort on the part of both you and your wife.

It might help your marriage if you went out into the community and volunteered some of your time. I'm sure a man with your energy and intellect would be welcomed with open arms. And you and your wife should join some social groups together so you can start enjoying each other again. If that doesn't bring some improvement, then please consider marriage counseling before you throw in the towel.