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by Abigail Van Buren

Man Puts His Convenience Ahead of Girlfriend's Safety

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, while still in high school, I had a quick "fling" with a boy I had known since elementary school. It wasn't serious, and we didn't have sex. We mutually agreed that it was simply fun. We haven't seen or talked to each other since.

I have no regrets about it. I was 17, had just been dumped for my baby sister and was having self-esteem issues. He made me feel beautiful and desirable.

A year later I started dating my fiance. We have been together ever since. I love him dearly. We have a solid relationship, and we're very happy.

The problem is I sometimes still think about my fling from high school. I wonder what would have happened if we had dated, or if he still thinks about me. Is this normal for a woman who is getting ready to be married to the only man she has had sex with, and the only person she has dated for more than a few weeks? Or does it say more about my relationship with my fiance than I think it does? -- CONFUSED IN OHIO

DEAR CONFUSED: I'm glad you wrote. What you are feeling may be less about your high school "fling" than concern because you have limited experience in the dating world -- a boy who dumped you, a high school crush and five years with the person you met next. Obviously, you are having some doubts. It is important to examine them.

If you and your fiance have not had premarital counseling, it is in both your interests to schedule some. You're still young, and if you were ready for marriage you would be going full steam ahead -- not looking in the rearview mirror.