DEAR ABBY: My stepsister, "Maya," and I became best friends during the four years that my mom and her dad were married. We shared a room during visitations and confided in each other about things we couldn't tell anyone else. We were as close as real sisters.
Mom and Maya's dad are now going through a bitter divorce because my stepdad had an affair. They communicate only through their lawyers, and Mom says we can have nothing more to do with "them." I think it's unfair to have the rug pulled out from under us over something that has nothing to do with Maya or me.
Against Mom's orders, I have been keeping in touch with my sister (and I mean that) through text messages and e-mails. If Mom finds out, I'll be in big trouble.
I know Mom has every reason to be angry with my stepdad, but I don't know why Maya and I should have to suffer. Please help. -- MISSING MY BEST FRIEND
DEAR MISSING: I agree that it's unfair that you and Maya should be punished because of the nasty divorce. But right now your mother is hurt and angry, and she's not thinking rationally. Your mother may also be concerned that you might tell Maya something that she doesn't want Maya's father to know.
It might help if you explain your feelings to one of your mother's close friends or another family member who can help you make her understand the situation from your point of view. She may need to be reminded that the world doesn't revolve completely around her, and she's not the only person hurting in this divorce.