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by Abigail Van Buren

Son Struggles to Accept Dad's Preference for Men

DEAR ABBY: My father is 83. My mother has been dead for more than 30 years. Since then, Dad has been involved with many women. But since he turned 70, he has become involved with men, which he says he finds very rewarding and much less complicated.

Dad and I always had an open and honest relationship. We have a lot of homosexual family members and friends. At the same time, I'm shocked that the fact he is gay has been so difficult for me to accept. Have you any suggestions on how I might better deal with this? -- CARING SON IN MIAMI

DEAR CARING SON: Your father appears to be bisexual, which means he is attracted to both men and women. Whereas he may not have wanted to admit to himself or to you years ago that he had feelings for people of the same sex, it is no longer shocking to be open about it. Times have changed. Today a person's sexual orientation is no longer considered something to be kept hidden.

One constructive way to "deal with it" would be to realize how fortunate you are to have the kind of relationship you have always had with your dad. Be supportive, don't judge and love him for the parent he has always been.