DEAR ABBY: My father-in-law died unexpectedly a month ago. At his memorial service we were given numerous sympathy cards, some of which contained cash or checks. Is this commonplace? I asked other family members; they all said they hadn't heard of such a thing.
What are we supposed to do with the money? We don't know if there is a particular custom involving monetary donations. If you know, please advise. -- PERPLEXED IN WASHINGTON
DEAR PERPLEXED: Giving money to the family of the deceased may be a regional custom. It is done to help the family defray the cost of the funeral or other expenses.
Unless individuals prepare in advance for "the unexpected," their survivors can be caught flat-footed when a death occurs. Bank accounts can be frozen until the estate is settled, and it can take some time for insurance money to kick in. These donations can mean that the family has rent money or even money for food and can be very meaningful.