DEAR ABBY: I am a 31-year-old man. I have been seeing a wonderful woman for about seven months, and it's starting to get serious. I need advice, though, on how much we should tell each other about our sexual histories.
Seven years ago, the end of a romantic relationship sent me into a deep depression. I spiraled downward for a long time, during which I engaged the services of prostitutes. Finally, with the help of my family and a therapist, I was able to take medication and recover from the depression. I was later tested for STDs and was lucky not to have contracted any.
I am not implying that I'm not responsible for what I did at the time. I'm ashamed of the situations in which I placed myself. Abby, should I tell my girlfriend about this at some point as our relationship progresses, possibly toward marriage? If so, how much detail should I give her? I don't want to start a life with her based on lies. -- WANTS TO MAKE PEACE WITH THE PAST IN WISCONSIN
DEAR WANTS TO MAKE PEACE: Let me ask you this -- how much detail do you want HER to give YOU? From my perspective, if you are considering marrying this woman, it is more important for her to know about your history of depression than that you turned to "professionals" for more than advice. You are STD-free and are no longer interested in pay-as-you-go flings.
If you are asked to name names -- which I doubt you will be -- tell the lady that there have been episodes in your life that you "are not proud of." If that's not enough information for her, then tell her the truth and let her deal with it.