DEAR ABBY: We recently celebrated my stepdaughter's 40th birthday. After dinner I placed the birthday cake, along with the knife, cake server, plates and forks, in front of her. We sang "Happy Birthday," and she blew out the candles.
Shortly afterward, I realized she was not cutting and serving the cake, so I asked if she wanted her father or me to do it.
I was raised with the idea that the person whose birthday it is should serve the cake to those celebrating with her (or him). Now I have begun to wonder, what is the proper custom regarding who should cut and serve the birthday cake? -- CURIOUS IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR CURIOUS: I'm not sure there is a rule of etiquette regarding who should serve the birthday cake. It's really up to the individuals involved, and the custom can vary from family to family. In your case, when you saw that your stepdaughter wasn't cutting the birthday cake, you did the right thing in asking her if she would like you to. That's what I would have done.