DEAR ABBY: I am concerned about my younger brother. I'll call him "Freddy." Freddy is 18 and very lazy. His girlfriend lives with him at my mother's house.
Our mom is always cleaning their room. She does all the cooking and sometimes even launders their clothes. Mom tells me everything, and she's bothered by this. I live with her, too, but I do my share. I pay half the rent.
How can we let them know we are not their housekeepers, but in a nice way? -- TOUCHY SUBJECT, LAS VEGAS, N.M.
DEAR TOUCHY SUBJECT: I, too, am concerned about your brother. It is time your mother realized that by allowing this arrangement, she has done her son no favors.
The girlfriend should not be living in his room rent-free. (Where the heck are her parents?) If she is a student, she should have a part-time job and contribute something -- and so should Freddy. If he is old enough to have a live-in companion, he should be mature enough to clean up and do a load of laundry.
Your mother should convene a "family council" meeting and start assigning chores. Until and unless she becomes assertive enough to draw the line, she will continue to be taken advantage of. It's not about being mean or nasty. It's about encouraging Freddy to grow up and lessen his dependence upon her.