DEAR READERS: For those of you who live where Daylight Saving Time is observed, I offer a gentle reminder. Don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour before you go to bed tonight because Daylight Saving Time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow.
JOKES ABOUT PSYCHIATRIST'S COUCH AREN'T AMUSING TO WIFE
DEAR ABBY: Will you please explain to your readers that doctors do not practice medicine 24 hours a day? Each time we reveal to people that my husband is a psychiatrist, we have to put up with unfunny jokes about how he's going to analyze them, or insinuations that all he does is sit on a couch and ask, "And how do you feel about that?" How should we respond to these misconceptions? -- NOT LAUGHING IN IOWA
DEAR NOT LAUGHING: The attempts at humor are not a reflection on your husband or the psychiatric profession. They are a clue that the person may be afraid that if he or she opens up and talks with him, he may realize that he or she is "crazy."
Your question takes me back to my childhood, when our family lived in the Midwest and the first psychiatrist moved to the city and opened a practice. For months, no one would talk to the poor man for exactly that reason.
When people "joke" that your husband is going to analyze them, he should smile and say, "Don't worry -- I'm off duty." (If I were in his shoes, I'd be tempted to ask, "... and how do you feel about that?")
DEAR ABBY: I am being marred in the fall. Ever since I was 11, I have had a wonderful beagle. She sleeps in my bed and I take her everywhere. She cuddles with me and has been there for me during some of the most terrible times in my life. I treat her like she's my baby.
Abby, I want my dog to attend my wedding. One of my best friends -- one of my bridesmaids -- says a dog shouldn't be allowed to attend the wedding. I say she should be. Who is right? -- BRIDE-TO-BE IN ALABAMA
DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: I have heard of dogs not only attending weddings, but also being part of the bridal party. However, whether your four-legged companion will be welcomed at your wedding may depend on how the person who officiates feels about it -- and that is the person you should consult.
DEAR ABBY: I am at a loss as to how to deal with family members who constantly text others while supposedly visiting us or when we're having dinner out together.
I personally find it rude, but I am reluctant to ask them to put it away. Do you have a snappy comment for me? -- NON-TEXTER IN A TEXTING WORLD
DEAR NON-TEXTER: What your family members are doing is extremely rude. The message it sends to you is that your company is boring and the person would rather be elsewhere. (Indeed, the person who is texting IS elsewhere.) Tell your family members that when they visit, you would prefer they keep their electronic devices off until they leave. (If this happened while I was hosting a meal, I think I'd ask for separate checks and tell them why.)
Man's False Online Profile Is About to Rear Its Ugly Head
DEAR ABBY: I am part of a group of people who read our local newspaper online and comment on the news of the day in the public forums provided. It's great fun and offers an excellent place to interact with others.
Some of us have become close, exchanging e-mails and chat messages. One of the women has suggested we all get together at a local watering hole and meet each other, and the gang has agreed.
I would love to join in, but the problem is that the persona I built online is that of a hunky, handsome young man -- including a pilfered photo I posted as "me" on my profile. Needless to say, he is NOT me. I am a 54-year-old, chubby, graying man who wears glasses.
I would love to meet these people, but I'm embarrassed about the lies I have told them. Some of the women have flirted with me, thinking I am this sexy guy. How can I fix this so we can all be friends? I am afraid they'll be angry at my ruse. -- ABS OF SPONGE
DEAR ABS OF SPONGE: Keep your sense of humor, wear a name tag that reads "Guess Who?" and when they ask who you are, remind them people shouldn't believe everything they read. You are by far not the only person to "fudge" by a few years -- or a few pounds -- in describing oneself. In fact, you may be surprised to discover that you weren't the only creative writer in the group.
P.S. Your true identity may be the most interesting "news flash" at the gathering.
DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I plan to be married this spring. We have been engaged for 18 months, and he is a wonderful person. We are recent college graduates with good jobs and plan to continue working.
I recently inherited a large sum of money from my aunt, and my parents have recommended that I have a prenuptial agreement to protect my assets. My fiance has no substantial assets.
Abby, you have always stated that trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. Would it show a lack of trust if I ask for a prenup? When do you recommend one? -- TRUSTING IN ALABAMA
DEAR TRUSTING: I recommend a prenuptial agreement when there is a discrepancy in the amount of assets each partner is bringing to the marriage. Because you have doubts about having one, you should discuss the matter with an attorney. To ask your fiance to sign a prenup is not an indication that you don't trust him. On the contrary, his reluctance to sign one could be regarded as a lack of trust in you.
However, before the document is signed, it must be reviewed by an independent attorney (not yours) to ensure that your fiance's interests are also protected.
DEAR ABBY: One of my teachers at school wears jeans and a T-shirt every day. None of the other teachers dresses so casually.
I mentioned it to my mom, and we both think it is unprofessional. Do you agree? If so, should we say something to the principal -- although I would imagine he already knows? -- TAKEN ABACK, CHEYENNE, WYO.
DEAR TAKEN ABACK: I do agree. And I am surprised that there isn't some kind of written dress code for the staff at your school. But allow me to offer a suggestion. Instead of your bringing this to the attention of the principal, the message might be better received if it was delivered by your mother.
Early Screening for Disease Can Prevent Kidney Failure
DEAR ABBY: I was a healthy 12-year-old girl in junior high, sociable and energetic with no cares in the world, until one day my mother noticed I wasn't my usual self. I was tired and had no interest in any activities. Frustrated, she encouraged me to try out for my school's volleyball team.
What was supposed to be a routine physical for the team turned into a life-changing experience. I did not end up making the team. Instead I was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease. My test results showed that I had too much protein in my urine. After more tests, I was told I was in kidney failure.
I was only 12, and I didn't understand why this was happening to me. Nobody was expecting the news we got that day. The doctors told my parents that I would need to go on dialysis or have a kidney transplant and we should start looking for a donor.
A urine test was never part of any of my annual checkups. But protein in the urine is one of the earliest signs of kidney disease. That simple test might have prevented me from losing both kidneys.
Nearly 100,000 men, women and children are now on the waiting list for a lifesaving organ transplant. One hundred people are added to the list -- and 17 die -- every day. With early detection kidney disease can be prevented. So please urge your readers to get screened now and screened often. -- KLARISSA RAMIREZ, MINNEAPOLIS
DEAR KLARISSA: Thank you for your letter. I was, frankly, shocked to learn from it that kidney disease could strike a person at such a tender age. I'm pleased to pass along your important message.
Readers, March is National Kidney Month -- and March 12 is World Kidney Day. The National Kidney Foundation (NKF) has a screening program called KEEP, which stands for Kidney Early Evaluation Program. On World Kidney Day, KEEP will offer FREE screenings in cities across the country for people at risk for kidney disease.
If you or a family member has diabetes or high blood pressure, or if there is a history of kidney disease in your family, visit kidney.org to learn more and locate a screening near you, or call the National Kidney Foundation at 1-800-622-9010.
DEAR ABBY: My daughters feel my husband and I favor their younger brother. Our son has some social and developmental issues. We have explained to the girls that their circumstances are different and have even had his psychologist explain the reasons to them.
My middle daughter says it is just an "excuse," and she feels slighted. What can I do to help them see that we love them all and want the best for them, as well as to treat them fairly? -- CHALLENGED MOM IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR CHALLENGED MOM: One conversation with the psychologist obviously wasn't enough for at least one of your daughters, and my first suggestion is that you and your husband consider some ongoing family therapy for a while.
If your younger daughter is old enough, involve her while you are taking care of her brother. This will help her see for herself how time-consuming it really is, and what your responsibilities are as the mother of a child with special needs.
Equally important, if at all possible, arrange for respite care for your son once or twice a month to allow you to have some special one-on-one time with your daughters. Perhaps then they will feel less slighted.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)