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by Abigail Van Buren

Freshman's Late Night Tryst Angers Her Chaste Roommate

DEAR ABBY: I'm a freshman at a Catholic university. I was awakened last night at 3 a.m. because my bunk bed -- I'm on top -- was shaking. Then I heard my roommate moaning. She had snuck a boy into our dorm room, and they were doing "it."

I am so upset at her disregard for my personal space that I don't know how to talk to her. I'm big on chastity, but I don't want her to think I'm speaking up because I'm a prude. I found it so upsetting that it was difficult to get back to sleep.

My roommate is nice, and we get along well. How do I tell her this behavior is unacceptable? If I tell our resident assistant, she will get in trouble and hate me for it. If I had been forewarned, I would have slept out in the lounge. Please help me. -- RELUCTANT WITNESS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR RELUCTANT WITNESS: Silence implies approval. It is important that you talk to your roommate NOW because if you don't, it is sure to happen again. All you have to say is that when you were awakened, at first you were frightened. Then, when you realized what was going on, it made you extremely uncomfortable, and in the future you would prefer she make other arrangements for "that kind of thing."

It's the truth, you are within your rights to draw the line and you won't come off looking like a prude. What they did was out of line.