Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been friends with our next door neighbors "Henry" and "Flo" for many years. When our daughter graduated from college, I didn't think much about it when Henry gave her a bracelet. He said it was for her graduation.

After that, he began giving her other expensive items for birthdays and such. I know our daughter should not have accepted these gifts, but she thought Henry was just a nice old man. Then one day he actually asked her if she would like to go out with him some time. She told him it wouldn't be appropriate.

I feel uncomfortable around my neighbors now. Is it my business to tell Flo? I have a hunch that some of the items may have come from her jewelry box. What would you do? -- DELICATE PROBLEM IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR DELICATE PROBLEM: I would instruct my daughter to box up all of the items "Harmless Henry" gave her and return them to him, because they might be stolen property -- and were given with strings attached. And I would seriously consider mentioning to Flo to keep her eye on Henry, because he appears to be spending too much time in fantasyland.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wedding etiquette question I hope you can help me with. My fiance's best man, "Rocky," is his best friend since childhood. He's a great person, and I couldn't ask for a better friend for my future husband.

Here's the problem: Rocky happens to be a well-known celebrity. While many relatives and friends have met him, many more have not.

My fiance and I are normal people with average lives, and we know many of our guests will be star-struck at the event. We want Rocky to enjoy the day like everyone else and not be hounded by fans wanting pictures or autographs. We have spoken with him about our concerns, and we're all on the same page here.

What is the best way to handle this? Should I tell people beforehand, or just let them show up at the wedding and see what happens? Your insight would be most appreciated. -- BAFFLED BRIDE-TO-BE

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: By all means let your guests know at the time you receive their RSVPs that there will be a celebrity present at your wedding -- but that this is not a public appearance; he will be there as a member of the wedding party.

They should also be told that you and your fiance would appreciate it if guests refrain from seeking autographs or pictures. If you tell them what kind of behavior you expect from them, there will be less of a mob scene.

P.S. If "Rocky" is approached, he should have the presence of mind to point out nicely that this is YOUR day, and he would prefer to keep it that way.

DEAR ABBY: Who should greet whom first? Is it the guest walking into someone's home? Or should the host be the first to greet guest(s)?

What if you're the only one saying hello all the time? -- MARISSA IN HIGHLAND MILLS, N.Y.

DEAR MARISSA: I would think that when the host opens the door, both parties would greet each other at the same time. However, if it didn't happen, I wouldn't let it stop me from offering a cheery hello and a smile. And neither should you.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)