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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Fears She May Love Newfound Family Too Much

DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old daughter, "Marissa," is self-centered, lies compulsively and does not consider the consequences of her actions. She has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. We have just learned that she is now pregnant, and her father and I are not happy about it.

We will eventually be meeting the parents of the child's father. Is it our responsibility to discuss Marissa's problems with them? Or should we keep our mouths shut and pretend we are happy? -- TRYING TO DECIDE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR TRYING TO DECIDE: Does the young man know about your daughter's diagnosis and what it means? If not, then HE should be told and the implications explained to him.

Because your daughter's personality disorder will affect their son and the grandchild, his parents should also be informed. Ideally, he is the person who should do it. But if he doesn't, lay all the cards on the table because the other grandparents should be prepared.

And no, you do not have to "pretend" to be happy about the situation. And neither do they.