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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman's Size Is No Deterrent in Her Search for Lasting Love

DEAR ABBY: I was with a group of friends at a sports bar discussing the baseball playoffs when the owner of the bar made a racist comment about the game. I was so shocked and offended that I said nothing for the rest of the evening.

Later, I told my friends I was disappointed in myself for not speaking up -- that when someone makes a comment like he did and you let it go, you're condoning that type of behavior. My friends said they just "considered the source" and I should not have been offended. How should we have handled this? -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN FLORIDA

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: If the comment was offensive, you were right to be offended -- regardless of "the source." The way to punish an ignorant bigot such as you described would be to hit him in the wallet. A way to have done that would have been for all of you to leave and tell him why. And another would be for all of you to spread the word about the incident.