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DEAR ABBY: My son, "Jeremy," age 25, married his high school sweetheart a little more than a year ago. They live about 4 1/2 hours away.

When Jeremy was growing up, he and I were very close. Since his marriage I have tried not to call as often as I did when he was single. I do call, but now I limit it to once every few weeks, although he rarely answers his phone. I wanted to let him call at his convenience.

He has told me that e-mail is the best way to reach him. The problem is, he doesn't respond to my e-mails, doesn't answer my calls and rarely phones me to see how our family is doing.

I was recently ill and Jeremy didn't even call to see how I was. I'm hurt, and part of me wants to tell him so. I'm afraid if I do I'll alienate him, but I feel he's already alienated. What should I do?

This is really starting to bother me. My son doesn't call his younger brother either (his best man) like before. Should we just back off and leave Jeremy alone? -- IN A SPOT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR IN A SPOT: Your son's life has changed and he has new responsibilities since his marriage, but that's no excuse for him not to answer calls and e-mails from you -- especially if they are as few and far between as you have described. His behavior is extremely rude, and one can only hope it isn't because his bride has taken over and rules the roost. You deserve some answers, so by all means clear the air.

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