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by Abigail Van Buren

Family's Recorded History Is Now a Matter of Memory

DEAR ABBY: I have been married two years to a wonderful man, but we're having problems in the bedroom. Both of us are very uncomfortable talking about our feelings, especially when it comes to sex, and I just can't explain to him what I want him to do and vice versa.

I have tried many times to say things indirectly but have never been successful. I can't talk to him directly because I am very embarrassed. This has started to destroy our marriage, and now we generally prefer to sleep alone so that we don't have to have sex. -- S.O.S. IN THOUSAND OAKS, CALIF.

DEAR S.O.S.: If you want to save your marriage, you will need the assistance of an "interpreter" so you and your husband can communicate more fully. Please talk to your doctor and ask for a referral to a licensed, experienced sex therapist. (Because you find the topic of sex embarrassing to discuss, I recommend you consult a woman.)

Believe me, you are not the only couple to have this problem. In fact, so many others do that sex therapy is a specialty unto itself.